Too Old to Get Married?

It’s finally happening to me. I am approaching the over 25 mark when a women starts to think a little about her age. Yea, yea I realize that I am still a very young women but you have to admit up until around 25 you really don’t think about your age much except when you turn 16 because you can drive, 18 because your legal, or 21 because you can drink. However, once you pass 25 you think wow, I guess now is when we step into “big girl world”. If you haven’t already you would start thinking about marriage, children, and white picket fences with little dogs inside.

Now for whatever reason some people seem to think that once a woman hits 30 she is approaching the gray zone and that the chances of her finding a partner and getting married are sliming down. Furthermore, those same opinions would go on to say that a woman in her 40′s is approaching the black zone in which case, marriage is pretty unlikely. Well my friends, at the tender age of 26 and three years from the gray zone I have to beg to differ.

I’d like to reference and article by Daniel Schorn from CBS News.com. He takes us through the story of a 1986 article posted by New Week Magazine. The article stated that a professional women only had a 20 percent chance of getting married after age 30 and for women over 40 a sad 2.6 percent chance! Lisa Miller, the senior editor of News Week Magazine later stated in 2006 (year the CBS article was written) that even for a woman over 40, the chance of marriage is actually closer to 40 percent. So the numbers were a bit off target in the 80′s.

Ok ladies, let’s all put down our pitch forks and breathe a sigh of relief. Yes, there is love after 30 and 40 and even 50 and 60 as far as I’m concerned. So be not discontent! It would be better to wait and fall into a meaningful worthwhile relationship in God’s time instead of picking any old Tom, Dick, or Harry just to soothe the fear of being single. After all the more important issue is your own inner happiness and contentment, which for many woman does not require a partner to obtain.

article referenced from CBS for your reading pleasure: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/31/earlyshow/main1671139.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentBody

Little Black Dress… a little no no?

 We all either have one, need one, or are damn near starving ourselves to get into one. Yes ladies and gentlemen I am referring to the infamous little black dress. Now the question poses itself, is it appropriate to wear a black dress to a wedding? Some folks would argue that traditionally wearing black to a wedding suggests that you are in disapproval of the marriage or are wishing bad luck on the the bride and groom, but seriously if that were the case then why would you be there?

I recently bought a beautiful dress from White House Black Market to wear to a wedding to which I was invited. I bought the dress months in advance only to read some of these more traditional views two days before the wedding! So of course I ran to the mall, returned the dress and desperately searched for a replacement of a more uplifting color choice. I found a lovely dress in a nice shade of beige, went to the wedding, only to find three other women wearing black!

So to answer the age old question is it ok to wear black to a wedding? Consider these few points.

1.) Are you expecting this to be a super traditional wedding and if so, the black dress is probably a no go. So your friends may look at you and think you look great but the grandmothers of the bride and groom will give you dirty looks while your doing the electric slide. Which by the way EVERYONE should play at their reception (my two cents).

2.) How well do you know the couple? If you have a close relationship with the bride and groom you may already know that neither they nor the other attendees would have a second thought about a black dress. Also, if you are comfortable with them, it never hurts to just ask if they feel it’s appropriate, after all, they would know their guests better than you.

3.) Consider the time of day the ceremony will take place. If it will be at night then it would be a little easier to get away with wearing black. However, sitting in a botanical gardens somewhere at 12:00 noon with a black dress on in the middle of spring may not be the ideal situation.

Bottom line is yes, times are changing which makes it a little difficult to give a hard and fast answer here. Just use your common sense and don’t take unnecessary risks with someone else’s big day. If you were concerned enough about it to read up on it, you should probably just wear a different dress.

-not a bridesmaid

Bridal Tool Belt

As I’m sure you know there are hundreds of resources available to anyone who needs a little help in planning their wedding.  Some of them being a little more useful than others. Many of these sites have several features in common but  here are just few tools that you may want to keep in your bridal tool belt to help you along the way.

1.) www.theknot.com; This site has phenominal planning tools and I would highly recommend it, especially for anyone who needs a little help staying organized. To sign up for an account is quick, simple and free. Through this site you have access to your own personal budget/payment calculator , guest list organizer, and it even allows you to create your own wedding website that you can share with your family and friends. I’m sure my description of how beneficial this can be does it no justice so go check it out!

2.) www.projectwedding.com; If you are not already familiar with this site, it is similar to a facebook or myspace, social networking type situation. Here you would actually create a profile and you can chat with other brides in forums, add people to your friend list, read vendor reviews etc. The really cool thing about the profile is that you can scan through thousands of photos for ideas and save them in your profile to refer back to later. This sites definetley a keeper!

3.) www.brides.com;  Here you will find many of the features that I listed in the previous two sites with a couple of added tools. On Brides.com you can actually create a seating chart, start your own wedding blog, and use the “gift and thank you notes” section to be sure you thank everyone for the lovely kitchenware you won’t use. SO KIDDING! Ahem…ok, moving on.

4.) www.thebrokeassbride.com; Let me begin by saying I love this blog. It is one of the few places that you can go and read a refreshingly witty wedding blog that is interesting and still has useful info. Everything from recipes to hot fashion can be found here. This is also a good site for those stressful planning days when you just need something to make you smile = )

Any-who, if you have any resources you would like to add, please feel free to comment, I would love to hear about em!

Butter Cream vs. Fondant

A common question amongst brides today; fondant or butter cream? Well, when you’re choosing something that will be served to several of your closest family and friends you will certainly want to know some facts about each.

Butter cream is the sweet icing that has been traditionally used to decorate wedding cakes. It tastes great and when in the hands of the right person it makes a beautifully decorative cake. 

However in more recent years we have been introduced to fondant which is a slightly sweet dough-like substance that is rolled out then used to cover the cake. Many brides choose fondant because it creates a very smooth surface on the cake as well as an amazing finish. If you have ever seen a wedding cake that looked like pillows or a box wrapped with a bow, it was probably covered with fondant.

 

Fondant

Fondant

Fondant

Butter Cream

Butter Cream

Butter Cream

Now you may be asking yourself, if fondant creates such beautifully polished cakes and can be used to make a cake look like anything that I want, why would I request butter cream? Well, I set out on a journey myself to answer that question and two responses come to mind. The first is price, if you are in the market for a fondant cake you can expect to dish out a little more dough (no pun intended) than what you would spend on a butter cream cake. Probably around twice as much from what I have found. Secondly, I would strongly encourage that you taste fondant before asking for it. I had the pleasure (or lack there of) of tasting a bit. It was much like eating chewy candle wax with sugar in it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have heard from folks who like it and I’m sure depending on your baker the taste can be improved. Just be sure to give it a taste test on your own first.

So to answer the burning question, butter cream or fondant? It depends on what you want. If your primary concern is how impressive the cake looks and you are willing to spend a little extra to get it….fondant all the way. However if you are more concerned about taste then I would go with butter cream, just to avoid your guest feeling like the walked into a Yankee Candle factory hungry and came out full.

Not a Bridesmaid

Weddings are by far one of the most exciting yet stressful events in a persons life, and why? Because it is one of the most important. Most woman have a picture in their mind, a dream if you will,  of their wedding day and its perfect. The weather is great, the caterers are on time, the decor is gorgeous, the music is heavenly, and not to mention her hair and make up are to die for. As women we find ourselves in pursuit of this magical day and we would go to great lengths to make absolutely sure that it happens just as it did in that dream. Granted there are some women out there who are a little more laid back in regards to their wedding planning and God bless you, I wish we all could be, but most of us have at least a small bride-zilla inside.

I have always thought that the saying “always a bridesmaid never a bride” was a little sad but cute; however in my situation we have to take it a step further. In many, well actually all of the weddings that I have attended except one, I wasn’t even a bridesmaid.  Sitting in the pews, gardens, banquet halls, and other venues watching two people make one of the most important decisions of their lives. Hence the “not a bridesmaid” tag that you see at the end of many of my posts.

Many of the questions that we all have about planning our weddings are probably questions that others have had before. We’ll talk about everything from flowers to fondant and everthing in between. I’ll share with you what I know and  you best believe I’ll give it to you straight!  Thanks for reading!

-not  a bridesmaid